MaLaCCa TRiP... AwEsOmE!!

This one week break before the new year begins and a year full of new plus bigger challenges ahead I'm so happy to be able to use it to the fullest.
After a super stressful Reproductive System Assesment...Finally got holiday!! Woohoo!! =P
I went Malacca with the invitation to stay at A-Sister's place (Nisha's house) together with my 2 other uni mates...Christabel and Man Keat..Waking up early to catch the bus was worth it coz the trip was tons of fun!!

We shopped at Jonker's street and sight see the various historical spots...recalling my childhood days where I was so amazed by the buildings..plus I had a tasty bowl of ice kacang...yumm!!

Next best thing was the A Famosa Waterpark...where we went together with Nisha's family..And I went on the craziest slide ever...but didnt have the guts to take the even steeper slide at the last minute but tricked Man Keat into doing it instead haha!! We sat on the tube together with Christabel which slides up so high on the side that you are actually facing vertically downwards...Wacky!!

Tomorrow's another long day...MYF will be singing for church's new year eve service...and I need to be there early...but it'll be fun too!!

I just feel that I'm the luckiest person to be able to have such great friends and blessed with so many good and fun times...

Well...HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!! MAY ALL THE DREAMS AND WISHES YOU HAVE FOR 2006 COME TRUE...HAVE A BLAST WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! GOD BLESS!!

God's Grace & Love..

Today I felt something I haven't felt for sometime....
As I was pouring out my feelings of sadness for my friend...I felt that I wasn't doing anything to help her...and it made me feel bad

I went to her house today together with my mum and 2 other aunties whom we know in church..none of us knew what to expect or do coz we don't know her actual needs or situation.

I really do admire my friend. She didn't give up on things but instead tried to take up the responsibility to take care of her family as she's the eldest daughter. Although she was emotionally discouraged at times, she took things in such a positive manner and remain strong. Something I dont know if I could carry if I was in her shoes.

I believe that God made it happen in a such a way that my mum's close friend, shared with the rest of the church members in one of their meetings about my friend the previous night. People were touched and started to donate some money to help my friend and one aunty even volunteered to come with us to visit her although she doesn't know her at all.

Now, my mum and the other 2 aunties are trying their best to get help from every source they could think of to help lift the few burdens off my friend's shoulders especially helping her with finances to complete her studies and I believe somehow its part of God's work in my friend's life.

The only thing all of us can do is to pray for her and her family that their burdens would be lifted by God and He will fill them with the strength that day need to get through each day. I pray that God will grant my friend the assurance that everything will turn out right with God by her side and she'll find peace in Him. And of course, God would ease her mum's pain and suffering as much as possible and come to know Christ as well...

Despite all that has happened, somehow God showed the 4 of us and my friend and her family hope...like something that caught my attention today.

The dark skies and heavy downpour with thunder and lightning are only for a short period and God can just clear them away and bring back the clear blue sky plus a beautiful rainbow. And that's my wish for my dear friend this coming new year.

My HoPe FoR ThE CoMiNg DaY...

I'm finally keeping up to my promise to go visit my dear friend...

I know she's currently going through a lot of stuff...things I could never imagine myself facing...
Its the same friend I described previously...

I just really wanna pray that God would give me and the rest of us going to visit her and her family the strength, wisdom and of course love that would touch their hearts and lives... Hopefully, we would be able to touch her mother's heart especially as she's terminally ill... of course my friend and her sis too...

We're all going to visit her and see what we can do for her mum as well as for my friend and her sister.

I really don't know what to expect or do yet...but I know that I wont need to rely on my own strength or worry about anything...coz God would be with me...

All I really wanna do is to be with her..and to let her know that I'm always there for her...and to share with her the God whom I love and has filled my life.
I pray that she would know Him too...so that her seemingly empty life would soon be filled with everlasting joy, love, peace and hope.

Its ChRiStMaS DaY!!

Finally....the awaited day has come...Christmas!! A time of joy...love...friendship...family...
I am so blessed with great family and friends...and of course to have God in my life...
Christmas always speaks of God who loved us so much that despite our sinful nature He sent His Son to earth as a man to die on the cross on behalf of all of us... He is the One who still loves and cares for us the most despite all our imperfectness...

Just being able to celebrate Christmas and knowing the true meaning of Christmas all my life is already a gift...coz I have received the gift of salvation just by believing in Jesus!!

However at the same time...my heart is saddened...
I got to know about a dear friend of mine whom I have known since primary school...she was my classmate most of the years we were in school...
She's a very bright and smart student...ever hardworking...always the top student..and yet she would still help me with the difficult subjects like math...
We used to chat a lot on the bus together...and she's a great listener...

Recently, her dad passed away suddenly...but I heard it was due to lung infection...and even before that...I was told her mum is terminally ill...
I remember her telling me that her plans were to quickly finish her course and get her degree so that she could start working and support her family...she does her best to complete her course in the shortest time possible...and I really admire her for that.
After hearing about her family...my heart just melted...I can only imagine how she's feeling... I do really want to be there for her...and let her know that she still has support and someone who loves her...

I do pray that God will give her the strength and fill her heart with love and take away the feeling of loss from her...for I know the feeling of loosing someone I love a lot...

CaNt BeLieVe IT!! Its Christmas!! Its the end of 2005!!

Hooray!! Exams are done!! Its time to celebrate Christmas!! Plus I have a week break and *poof*It'll be 2006 in a weeks time too!!

I had such a great time this month although I was dreading the anticipation of facing my reproductice system test. But the rest was worth it. Going to FRIM, Christmas party, hanging out with my friends & family, family trip to Cameron's....Its was all so fun!!

This is kinda like my 20th Christmas I guess...and each year God blesses me with surprises!! We would tend to think that celebrating Christmas every year would soon become some sort of a routine but as for me, God always seem to amaze me with His surprises...making each Christmas unique...

Each year I always felt the warmth, the joy in celebrating Christmas...although its sad to see others not knowing the true Christmas story...and treating it as just another holiday...

I believe I can say proudly today the I'm one of the most blessed person on earth to have received so much of blessings both from God and the people I love...

So....those of you feeling down...during this Christmas...pick yourself up....believe in the true meaning of Christmas...and trust me...God will do wonders for you...!!

Have a blessed Christmas everyone!! And A superb New Year 2006 too!!

Boring...Boring...Boring...

Life ever since returning back to uni has been pretty boring...
Of course...I'm glad to meet my friends again...
It's just that normally its holiday at this time of the year...but...this year's different...
I'm finding it hard to concentrate and study with so many other exciting stuff happening around me...and my test is coming up on December 23...
So...when I'm looking forward to Christmas it also means that I am looking forward to the test.. which is not something I would want to think about right now looking at the pile of notes growing day by day...
Well..we'll see how things would go as time passes on....
Hopefully I can cover everything before the test....
Gotta return back to my books...*Sigh*

GP PoSTiNG + PLANET SHAKERS!!

Well...I've reached the 4th week of a 5 week rotation which u can say is kind of a holiday except when you have some practicals scheduled and this week was GP Posting Week!! Basically I have to be at the clinic for 5 days observing the general practitioner do his job...and the clinic I chose was in Ampang.. I didnt know what to expect at the beggining and so I was nervous..but it turned out pretty well...
The doctor was really eager to teach me everything he possibly could...So here are some of the things I saw..

1. Normal cases of flu and diarrhea
2. Dengue cases
3. Ultrasound of a fetus
4. Examine some patients, take BP, watch taking of blood and blood glucose test
5. Ultrasound of abdomen (saw gallbladder stones)
6. ECG
7. Learn how to do a spot diagnosis based on patient's symptoms
8. Saw an actual patient with Parkinson's
9. Saw another patient with "trigger finger"
10. Saw x-ray of a fractured scapula, glenoid process and 6th, 7th and 8th rib
11. Auscultate for "ronchi" (wheezing)
12. Saw a patient with a full blown cataract

But the highlight of my week was attending Planet Shakers concert...it was amazing just to be there, among thousands of youths filling up Sunway Convention Centre...Feeling God's presence and getting excited to praise God with music....Unspeakable joy just fills my heart....Watching youths from all over the country and even from the South East Asian Region gather together, getting excited to praise and worship God...Wow!! On the last night the hall was so full...there wasn't enough seats eventhough they had already extended the hall further...

I think the best part of all was being there together with all the MYFers...getting excited and enjoying ourselves praising God together...Just hope that this excitement for God will grow even more and more in each and everyone of us...so much that it'll touch others' lives....

IRONiNG 101

It's Deeparaya break!! Cool rite? Well...I am enjoying the week off...but somehow I couldn't stand it anymore...not doing anything at all...
I did visit the dentist finally after so long....and well...I had my routine scaling...but then, the dentist told me something I really didn't expect or want to hear...
According to her the reason my front teeth is starting to get crooked although I already did my braces...was bcoz my wisdom teeth were sleeping towards the molars...compressing them...so, she encouraged me to think about removing the 2 wisdom tooth...Gosh!! Already I'm ever so afraid of dentists...and to think that I will never have to remove anymore teeth in my entire life after having to pull 4 teeth out to do my braces...BoY!! Was I wrong...and this one's no joke...it will be painful and there'll be swelling...It's gonna be a small surgery !! But I figure I shall delay it as long as possible...Since it's not an emergency kinda thing...
Later we shopped and had lunch at Midvalley (my 2nd home)...nothing special really...bought some clothes...
When we returned home..I just couldn't stand sleeping although I was tired coz I slept late the last night..So somehow I just had the mood for ironing....
Its a good thing coz there were lots of clothes that were hanging on the rack...and my mum was already getting sick of having to iron so many clothes...
Finally I guess...I did make an effort to help with housework...and I just dont know why..but I was enjoying it...listening to the radio..and fumbling with the iron at 1st...
I was really happy when for once I did finish ironing all the clothes..so was my mum...haha!!
This was the one house chore I didnt feel sick of doing...Surprising!!=p

A MeMoRaBLe DeePaVaLi LuNcH..

Its was an unsually sunny day coz it had been raining throughout Monday...for once the sky was clear and bright...unlike the gloomy days we've been having...
Finally have the opportunity to meet up with my secondary school best friends..Pui Yong, Jasmine and Karmini...after a long time...we used to go to Karmini's house during Deepavali when we were all still in school...
Hah...it was so fun to chat with them again...although it felt pretty awkward at first..guess bcoz Karmini's college friends whom we met for the 1st time were also there...But later...once we got warmed up with each other...we chatted so long that I didnt realise it was already nearing 5pm
I had a great Deepavali lunch thanks to Karmini's mum who cooked really good food..Yummy!!
Couldn't stop muching the snacks laid on the table also..haha...
Really do miss those times we used to spend together...we can chat for hours and hours....
Well..I'm thankful that we do still keep in touch with each other...that's a good thing!!

Post KKB Syndrome

Wow!! After all the excitement and fun of this week....I'm already starting to miss it all!!

Things I missed about KKB posting:

1. cool and fresh air, quiet and peaceful unlike the busy town of KL
2. learning how to play "Settlers" from Man Keat...later Christabel and I got addicted to the game
3. ganging up against Kang Meng at Settlers with Man Keat and Nisha...bcoz of that I won!!Haha...Poor guy....
4. sharing the same house with Christabel and Nisha (chatting till 3am)
5. BBQ night: keeping the fire alive, trying to defrost the frozen chicken, eating marshmallows coated with marjerin (really tasty!!), getting high for no reason..
6. playing speed and lossing to Man Keat and Bryan...played "Big 2 " too...
7. playing mafia in the dark and watching movies (although I slept halfway)
8. walking to KKB town...eating ice cream....running away from Ben's singing
9. the cute and fat rabbit hopping all around which everyone seemed to want to cook it during BBQ
10. watching all the food disappear into our hungry tummies during our dinner on the last night at 98 restaurant
11. every effort we put to entertain ourselves in the quiet town
12. Thomas looking for his "sotong balls" (mistery still not solved yet)
13. Watching the others play "Bridge"..still unfamiliar with the game though but it was interesting to watch....
    

But then since we got back from KKB and also after hanging out together yesterday at MidValley and my bday dinner...I suddenly felt so tired...
I guess I didnt really rest properly after coming back from KKB and we went out again the next day...so my body didnt hav a chance to recover....
Anyways...post KKB I'm missing all the fun and laughs as well as the craziness we had at KKB...
Plus its our last posting to that quaint town....
Hmm....cant believe I'm gonna finish my phase 1 with just less than a year left.... Anyways..this is one of the best KKB postings I've had so far...and I'll never forget it!!

I'M 20 ToDaY!!

Can't believe today I'm officially 20 already!!
Haha...God has blessed me greatly with a great 20 years...
Gonna hang out with my friends and hav dinner with em....later...
Can't wait..GOnna be Super FuN!!
WooHoo!!!=p

THe AdVeNTuReS of KKB (24/10/05-27/10/05)

The last travel to the small, quaint town known as Kuala Kubu Baru located in Hulu Selangor, before Fraser's Hill is trully one of the most enjoyable trips I've had although it was on med school bussiness...
Riding on the bus, we were all filled with excitement, expecting fun, fun, fun all the way...
We had planned to have a BBQ on the 2nd night there...and also brought board games and cards to play as well as DVDs to watch...
Upon reaching the houses...our assigned house was horribly dirty...we had to sweep, mop and collect all the rubbish left behind by the previous group which included food wrappers and pizza boxes...Whew!!It was tiring!!
But immediately after we got settled down...we began our adventure walking to town which took 15-20 minutes...and had dinner as well as some shopping...
Later we went back home and played with the games we brought...at midnight, PooF!! No electricity!! AARGH!! SO DARK!!
Hospital rounds were interesting as we were exposed to real patients but some of us had additional workload from the doctor incharged...
Nevertheless..that didnt stop us from having fun fun fun...we did everything under the sun to keep ourselves entertained...
Despite the workload, annoying powercuts, and icy cold water...we had the best time during the BBQ and also spending time together with all the city life distractions gone...This is one of the best KKB visits I've ever had!!
But for now...am really tired...So..Good Night!!

My BeLoVeD GRandPA

My grandpa...he's a dear person in my life..
He's already 83 years old...and still very healthy for a person of his age...
Chinese believe that if you live over a certain age...usually i think its 80...every year extra is a blessing...And he's a blessing to me...I really never understood why some people cant bear living with an elderly person...bcoz, they're such wonderful people to have around...although I admit that it gets tough having to take care of them at times
About 2 months back...my grandpa was down and it was because he had fallen sick...
He's a really old fashioned man and doesn't like depending on us...so when he doesn't feel well he won't tell us..
But I knew there was something wrong with him...coz he had no apetite, wouldn't go to town like he used to and slept a lot...the most worrying part was his apetite...
Lossing apetite made him even skinnier...and he was coughing a lot so we insisted in taking him to the doctor and it was found that his left lung was filled with phlegm...
So he had to take medicine..but it has side effects made him feel even worse than before
He felt so horrible that he asked my uncle to just take him to the hospital..(I was at Tioman at that time)..
Actually..his condition isn't serious...it was just that, he was feeling down for being unwell physically...the worrying part was that we could all see him kinda starting to give up even after returning home...Because of that his cellulitis came back and also had skin problems on his back and legs...(didn't take care constantly)
Not wanting to push himself to walk coz he was fearful of feeling breathless and no apetite...
So he became malnourished also....
I got worried and was frustrated at him coz he seemed like starting to give up in trying to get well..so I said a little prayer and asked God to turn him around and lift up his spirits again..
Few weeks later...I had a really long conversation with him..and he told me all his frustrations and problems...all I did was try to encourage him to pick himself up and be positive...
Wow!!(I was amazed at what one conversation can do) As each day passes after that he began to liven up...and started to eat a lot more than before
He even told me that he decided to try to improve his health to what it was before he got sick...
Now...as I look at him...he's so much happier....he was even singing to himself....
He was eating better and also starting to listen to me and my mum's advices....
I felt so happy for him...I'm so glad to see him this way...to hav my cheery grandpa back again!!

Praise Him!!

As I was leading this week's worship for MYF...without realising I had this great feeling of joy and happiness...Although I had slept late the previous night and was tired for waking up early today...but upon driving home....I realised that I had this great feeling of joy in me....
And my mind kept playing the song by Planet Shakers, "Praise Him" which I chose as one of the songs for worship today.
Having the feeling of thankfulness and gratitude to God for all things, even the little stuff...its so amazing coz you'll be able to enjoy almost everything in front and around you.
I watched Oprah on TV reporting the Katrina aftermath and the things revealed were so sad... My heart just melted away watching the video footage they showed....
It seemed worse than I imagined from watching the news...people whom they could never save (terminally ill, the old man was perpetually shivering) were actually left to die in a closed area they call the morgue "in peace", parents seperated from the children, no food, no water, gang fights in the dome where thousands of people lived including children. How were they supposed to live?
Yet despite all those sadness...there were still love and compassion among the people...they helped one another, supported each other, while they themselves were also suffering. Despite everything, families began to pull together, became stronger....strangers help save others.... and prayers were said each day asking God for help. I believe healing will take place...and a stronger community will be built.

It's A BusY LiFe AGaiN!!

Everyone's been asking, how come its been so long since you've updated your blog?
Well...its becoz I've been busy trying to adjust being back in uni again..
After giving up playing the organ and piano for church service, I took up leading MYF small group. Plus, I'm also a CG leader for the new semester students in uni.
Its a really new thing I'm venturing into, but its something I always wanted to do but just cant commit my time. Now, I've decided that I'll make the time and commit 100% in both. But it isnt as easy as it seems. Nevertheless, I know that it's not by my own strength but in God's only can I cope with everything.
A so called honeymoon semester as many call it, but too me, its a period of adjustment. And these periods are the toughest times of all. You'll feel that you're no where, wondering what lies ahead, wondering whether you'll be able to handle the challenges up ahead.
Having these thoughts aren't so bad, coz it keeps you on the alert and prevents you from being complacent but it shouldnt be allowed to turn into insecurities.
No matter what, in the end it's always God's promise that He'll be with me through everything that counts most. I'm glad that I have that to carry with me through every challenge or problem that I have faced and am facing.

HoLs OuT! It's BaCk To UNi..

Holidays are over,

And its was really fun,

I wish it would never be over,

But its time to recover.

Time to recover,

From the laziness and holiday mode,

Time to recover,

And return to a studying mode.

Holidays are over,

Its time to embrace new challenges,

Never say never,

But embrace all that lies ahead.

ELECTIVE: KiCkBoXiNG

Time flies real quick...I'm already entering my final 3 weeks of my semester break
It was great fun coz for the past month I was stress free from studies and also exams.. Although I just scraped through passing Sem 3..I'm just thankful that I won't have to resit my finals coz its even more traumatising sitting for a resit exam than the actual final exam itself..

Me and my close friend, Gowri joined by Jebbrine, Bryan and Kah Heng...we all decided to take up kick boxing classes for elective.. And when asked by other people, the reaction we often got was.."Wah! Don't mess with them!"..LOLz

Although it was scary for us as well coz we didnt know what to expect at the beggining, but after our trial class..we found that its really fun and we actually exercised!! We also had fun time laughing at each other especially when we were always grilled by the instructors to "Kick harder!More power!Punch harder!" more times than any other people taking the same class...
Being blur and all...we were also hit with many comments done jokingly...like "Punch harder, don't stroke it softly!It's meant to be hit hard!"

But after classes, although feeling fresher....muscles start to ache, tiredness take its place...
On the other hand, we also took the opportunity to go hang out after classes...and it was really fun too...I got to hang out with friends and chat with them, catch up with them coz I haven't really mingled with them in uni for a while...

Tomorrow's the final class for our so called elective purpose but we are gonna continue it coz we've enjoyed ourselves so far...Gotta get rest...

Genting Trip 26/07/05

It's a bird!! No!!It's a plane!!No!!I Don't know!!
3 Gals Chilling Out..

Woohoo!!In the cable car..
Coffee TiMe!!

Getting on Genting Skyway..

TiOmAn RoCKs!!

Wow...its been a while since I've been to the beach for a holiday...and thanks to my parents...I got to go to the beautiful island off Pahang just before entering Johor....Tioman!!
The island surrounded by beautiful corals and marine life which just captivates ur eyes...blue water, clear skies (away from hazy kl)...sunny days...sandy beach..
Rooms were kampung-like style..but we got a connecting room...and walking was a must coz the resort was really big...so just to get to the reception and restaurants would take about 4-5 minutes...But the good thing was its so quiet and relaxing..
The boat ride to the island was horrible...coz the engine was really noisy and i could still hear it ringing in my ears even after I got off the boat...and as usual...my hyperactive stomach was growling away in hunger so once I got to the restaurant which took hours to prepare my meal...I gobbled everything and even ordered for another bowl of tioman laksa...
Next day was exciting though...coz its my 1st time snorkelling!You see, I have this fear of things beneath the sea water...so I was terrified la...and the 1st stop...I didnt dare to move around on my own...plus my mum panicked on water and she got sea sick after that...and my dad had a hard time trying to breathe with the snorkelling goggles through his mouth..lolz
So the 2nd stop, one of the assistants on the boat joined us snorkelling and offered to take me around to see interesting marine life...before I could say yes or no...he took my hand and there we went swimming around...I was shaking coz I was really scared...but after a while..I began to enjoy myself...looking at the things below despite being scared of the things moving below...
The final stop, we actually went exploring round the small island surround by beautiful swordfishes and corals as well as other fishes...
Hooray!! I conquered my fears...and it was a great experience...
But then...my arms ached like crazy after that coz of the swimming and the kickboxing I did the day before we headed for Tioman...
Anywayz...it was all worth it...Haha!!I had great holiday with my family....and thats wat counts...

ReFLeCTioNs...

Lying on my bed..walking down memory lane...I was looking back on how my life used to be...
I was always a person with really strong principals and in my eyes there was never a grey area. It was always black or white (right/wrong). And the world around me seemed always against me and I felt that it was way better to just be a loner...I always thought I dont need friends coz no one liked me anyway...and everytime I tried to be friends...I felt used...bullied...
As I progressed from one stage to another of my life...I realised it doesnt matter if I felt used..or if others would take advantage of me....The only thing that counts would be my values...and whether I am right with God...And, isolation from making friends...was just out of anger against the people who bullied me...
Later in life...pressures and expectations of what I would do in the future...exams...studies.... things like that came about...
People around me keep comparing me...judging my character and even my appearance...even my dream to be a doctor was challenged by them.....
"Medical school very tough wan...U sure u can handle arr?" I seem to get that a lot once they found out becoming a doctor was wat I intended to pursue...
Exams weren't a problem previously...but then suddenly at college level...everytime an exam comes along..whether its big or small exams....I get cramps...butterflies in my tummy...I loose my apetite..I hated it!! But I can't control my body's response...

Of course...I felt it wasnt fair...."Why do I have to fit in?Why do I have to live up to others' expectations of me?Why do I need to worry of what others would think of me?"
Well..guess who answered all of these questions?"GOD"..He thought me how to cope with these issues...How?
Worry about others thoughts of me would basically show my insecurities...so why do I have to be insecure if I know my identity in God?I'm His child and He loves me...what more can u ask for?
As for living up to people's expectations and be under their judgements...Its what human do...
They judge others to make themselves feel better about themselves...But being put into these stressful and pressured situations made me a much stronger person....more confident of myself...and also stronger in God bcoz He was the one who helped me through all the way...
Every single thorn that comes my way He is the one who heals all the cuts and pain...

"I do hope that whoever reads this would get some assurance and encouragement...that yes, we do live in a tough world...full of pressures and expectations...but if u believe in God and trust in Him...plus surrendering all that is bothering you...I'm sure that He'll show you the light to your dark path...just as what He had done for me..."

FRieNDs....

Friends are important people in our lives so that includes me as well...
So far all my friends have placed a positive impact in my life....although sometimes there are disagreements, arguments, misunderstandings....along the way...
However, I find that a friend of mine has been at times really close to me....and we seem to have lots in common....so, it made me feel great to hav such a friend....
Then at times..suddenly...things just turn cold....the friend seem to have built a barrier in between us (the friend distants away from me) and it saddens me...Feeling dissapointed, I would also do the same and distant myself from my friend... thinking that maybe I did something wrong...or the person was tired of me...
The next moment....the friend of mine....approached me in close manner again....as if nothing had happened...things seemed normal again!!And I kinda felt this friend doesn't even know wats going on at all...
BUT is it trully normal?I don't know!!At first, I thought I was being overly sensitive about it and so...I decided to discard all those negative feelings away. Somehow, I couldn't help it but feel dissapointed or sad when it became a cycle that never ended..
I believe I was angry at the beggining..probably thinking how come my friend could be so insensitive..but as time goes by...i knew anger wasn't right coz it wasn't my friend's fault..
Honestly I had no solution neither I know why the friend of mine was that way bcoz the person doesn't even know wat was going on...
All I could think of was to look at things at a positive angle which was to continue to be a good friend but, at the same time do my very best in not letting my friend affect my emotions... although its something that I'm still struggling with currently...
"I really do want the best for that friend of mine...and I still do value the friendship we made..."
But I guess...things doesn't always turn out the way you want them to be...and I've gotta live with it!!

A LittLe SoMeTHiNG FrOm Me 2 U...

I just wanna send this little message to my friends who happen to read my blog and are feeling down bcoz of life's stresses and uncertainties....I wanna share this with u coz I've been in the same position and God has brought me through it...and things tend to look brighter ever since...***Whether this would help u I am not 100% sure but it has brought me through a lot and I'm still carrying it with me...so I trully pray and hope it'll do the same for u***

Its ok to feel scared or stressed out on all the pressures around us....sometimes it feels like the world is against us although we have big dreams to help ppl and do good..."Will any uni take me?"..."Will I be able to succeed?"...."Should I take the offer?"...."Will I be able to cope and focus?"..."How will I do in exams?"....
These questions constantly play in our minds and surely at times they collect and overwhelm us causing stress...or even meltdowns...

We have to remember this is part and parcel of life's journey and these things are what makes us strong and successful...prepared to face the even tougher world ahead...So learn to take things one step at a time...REMEMBER ur PASSION....ur DREAMS....never let the fire fade away....ANd of course TRUST in God that He will provide u with everything up ahead according to His will...and also believe in yourself bcoz each person has his or her gifts and potential to do great things in life....

So remember that when things dont seem right or you feel squashed by the different pressures and expectations...hold on tightly to your goals and dreams....never give up and commit all those stuff that are pushing you down to God and "trust in Him that His plans for u are to prosper u and not to harm u..."

YaY!! NiGhTMaRe OvEr..HoLs ArE IN FoR ReAL...

Hooray!!Wat a relief...!!The anguish!!The torturous waiting!!Finally it's all over!!
Praise God!! I Passed!!Although I only passed right at the margin....I'm glad that I dont hav to go through viva or resit...and all that had happened was a gift from God....
I could never have achieved or gone through all of these without Him...and He has brought me through every step no matter how tough or hard it felt....
Nothing can ever describe wat He did for me...All I can say and tell the world is He has been good to me throughout my entire existence in this hard core world....And he has made me the person I am today....Someone with a dream...to help others as a profession....
I will definitely keep the promises I made with God...and basically I am really and trully greatful to Him for wat He did for me...I'm just glad He gave me the opportunity to proceed to the next semester and be another step closer to achieving my dreams... ;p

HeLP!! ThE AnXiEtY is KiLLiNG Me!!

The anxiety....the feeling of my heart fluttering inside of me...is preventing me from sleeping although my eyes are weary and waiting to close anytime....but everytime I close my eyes and try to sleep....I start thinking bout tomorrow...
RESULTS!!Did I PASS??Did I FAIL??Wat am I going to do if I fail?Would I be able to celebrate for passing and being able to move on to Sem4??How??WOuld I be able to accept the results??
I DONT KNOW!!
These things that keep running through my mind is such a mental torture....I just pray to God and hope that tomorrow my results would show me a pass...!!Pls...let this be true!!

God ShOwEd Me THinGs Aren't So BaD AfTeR aLL!!

Feeling the way that I felt was always just temporary...Somehow...the feelings of anger, unappreciated, sad, dissapointment just died away....of course, a friend did play a role in helping to dissolve those -ve feelings...
Something just came to me...and I realised that it wasnt necessary for me to feel that way at all...It doesnt matter who is on the active side when it comes to helping others...neither does it matter whether my good deed was returned with gratitude coz I'm God's child....God is love and goodness....so I shall be that way too...
God helped me realise all those things....and I even felt so foolish for feeling that way in the 1st place...as for being cared by someone...I believe God will send that person to me someday...but for now....I'm great the way I am...and Thank God for making me the way I am!!

LiFe SoMeTiMeS LeT Me DoWn...

I've never felt this feeling for a while now...the feeling of being left out...of not belonging.... Walking alone watching everyone pass me by...trying to stay composed and preventing myself from breaking down overwhelmed by those mixed emotions.....
I felt myself trying sort the turmoil of emotions running through my mind..."was it my fault?"...
"why did i allow it to happen?"....."why was I so nice when i didnt hav to be?"..."why am i feeling this way?It's silly!!"..."why am i so silly to put myself in vulnerable positions?"..."I wished I had someone who would comfort me...be the one who would try to care for me....and not me always on the active side alone"
At times I would feel myself being so gullible and simple....and silly....
Always tend to be the active one in caring for someone....even when ppl around me probably would not want my help....or even get intimidated by my eagerness to help...and finally in the end feel like i wasn't appreciated...but either way its my fault...i put myself in this position...

One DoWn..AnOtHeR to Go!! PaSS or FaiL??

Today was the day viva list where students with borderline are listed to go for an aural exam was released...This exam is a 2nd chance for students who almost pass to Pass!! Going for this exam is superbly stressful and my heart was racing anticipating the release of the list this morning...

The agony of waiting is torturing but wat to do? Its all part and parcel of med school life...

Praise God that I wasnt on that list.....BUT!! WHen the actual results are out this FRIDAY.... it would be between PASSING or FAIL...Agony Over?? NOT!!

However looking on the bright side of things happening....its great to be surrounded by really great friends...who share the same feelings and support one another with love and encouragement....TimHo, TimChew, Victoria, Jane, Michelle, KhunYing, Matthew...

We spent time together shopping at Bk Bintang 2day...which was really fun....and then had a scrumptous steamboat dinner that filled me up to my neck and could not move....but the fellowship that we had was priceless...and I'm blessed to hav such great friends...

Tomorrow..we'll be going to Genting....along with THomas and Man Keat I think...and I'm sure it'll be great fun too...CAn't Wait!!

ExAm'S OvEr..but Nightmare isn't Over Yet!!

I know that life is never easy...and lots of effort is needed to reach our goals...but the high goals I set myself at the beginning of med school seems to just drop to a level where all I wanna do is pass this finals and be able to continue progressing to Sem 4...

I never thought or dreamt that at this stage of my life...my ability to hold myself together...to stay calm and composed is simply lost...the anxiety and twisted emotions I feel wouldn't leave me even after countless times of telling myself to calm down and be confident...I keep feeling my tummy being squeezed and twisted...and my brain frozen...unable to recall anything....but still praying to God asking to stay calm and composed did help me a lot from falling apart....

Even after going through finals...I still can't believe that its done!! All I have to to now is wait for results to be released next week...but that's another nightmare coz looking at how things worked out during exam..where practically most of the questions asked were so tough plus stupid mistakes made along the way didn't help at all...

But in the end..I'm am thankful to God that He has brought me through this week...that I can

at least complete my exam...the rest is up to Him to decide for me...but I do pray that I'll be able to pass and proceed to the next level of med school...For now...I am glad to complete the exam.. coz it seemed impossible to me last week..

"and yet look where God has brought me...I know He will definitely never ever fail me!!"

In a Dilemma..

Every person in Sem 3 rite now is going through the same thing...No time!!So much to cover!! And after completing the 1st part...progressing to the next...Oh No!!Forgot the 1st part I covered...Its really frustrating...
And having to memorise the life cycle and how each parasite and bacteria looks like just sucks away your interest...I really wish I had a super brain where I only hav to read once...I'd remember everything...
But life isn't easy...and it doesn't come easy at all...If we don't work hard then we won't feel the joy of success either....I'm trying to concentrate but distractions seem to come very often and its really hard even to focus...
I guess I need to push myself and make a commitment to put my very best...I seem to have lost my confidence in my studies bcoz everything I learnt this whole year...I cant recall...
I'm already anxious bout my last summative results...and now facing this big exam..failing is definitely a big NO...I cant afford to fail... I'll be 10 times more stressed out having to resit...I sure wouldnt want to put myself in that situation...
I know that God will help me through..I do believe..but the current situation I see myself in makes me scared of how things would turn out at the end of the day...
Deep down I know that no matter what..God is with me..He has always been there for me... I just pray that through this tough period...I wont waste my time anymore and I'll have enough time to finish studying..before finals sets in...
"Lord, pls help me not to be in panic or to feel anxious...but grant me the discipline and concentration as well as a good memory to be prepared for my finals in July...I commit everything into Your hands for I trust in You always...In Jesus' name...Amen"

JuSt PrAiSe RoCkS!!

This week is the beginning of my study break before sem 3 finals but I cant seem to get myself to concentrate and study....I keep getting distracted and it feels so difficult to concentrate and focus...Haihz...
The highlight of my week was "JUST PRAISE"...it was great...all the youths of the church gathering together and praising God in the church sanctuary plus Juwita Suwito performing... It just feels so refreshing and I was amazed at how God works in our lives...
Growing up as a Methodist in church..it was mainly traditional...but to see God making the church a place appealling and relevant to youths today by creating opportunities for us to gather and praise God in a contemporary way...where we are free to dance, jump, raise our hands to Him... Indeed I believe that God is bringing revival among the youths of the church...and I definitely would not wanna miss out on that...
Plus listening to Wai Ming share about his vision on the youths of the church getting on the train prepared by God during MYF...made it even clear that indeed revival is here and is starting among the youths...

My SuPeRb & CrAzY WeeK

Last week was a crazy week...mock OSCE was on Monday and GI exam was on Friday and I was totally not prepared yet...there were tons and tons of notes pilling up and it seemed impossible to finish...I felt my brain so saturated with info but at the same time the things I read were starting to seep out of my brain too....Arrgh!! Trying to cover everything before Friday...I've been sleeping within 2-4am throughout the whole week....plus during the day there were still lecs going on..
Friday finally came...although I was pretty exhausted but there was excitement in me coz at night it was GRIP (Good Relationships In Progress).It was an MYF camp in church during the weekend. But I had to go through the 1st hurdle which was my GI test...and boy it was hard... after the debriefing I felt that I had done quite a lot of mistakes...but its done and I cant do anything else about it...I'm just glad God brought me through the crazy week especially when He helped me through the mock OSCE which I was so nervous and anxious about. I tot I would not be able to perform but the Doctor examining me actually came up and told me I did quite well..."Praise God!!"
The best part of the week finally came and it felt so refreshing just to hang out with MYFers once again and had tons and tons of fun after a stressful week...Although it was tiring but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to have fun so the tiredness was perpetually just pushed aside...running around at KLCC for the treasure hunt was tiring and frustrating at times but it felt great when we finally finished the hunt..and well..our group couldn't believe that we actually won coz we actually finished last..
The talk by Pastor Sivin Kit was great too as he spoke on securing our soul with God and taking the leap of faith with Him..putting our trust and making a commitment to get serious with Him and let Him lead us through all the way...which was something I think I needed to hear since Sem 3 finals is just around the corner and stress levels are already increasing..
As a whole..God really blessed me with a superb week where everything just fell into place and I had so much fun...so Thank You God for the great week!!

me and my best pals..

Me..with the groom and the best man..

MYF table..feeling hungry already

All dressed up for the dinner at Marriott..

Group pic!At W&E's wedding dinner

My LoNg LoNg WEeK...

Its been a while since I've blogged...that was boz as usual..I was busy...
My parents went overseas for about a week and I had to take care of the house and be incharged of driving around picking and sending my bro and of course drive myself to uni...
Last Sunday was really fun and interesting coz I went out with uni frens (Man Keat, Sid and Jane) for lunch after church and later to SOGO to shop (after endless convincing from both Sid and Man Keat)...the funny thing was instead of the usual thing where guys would wait for gals when shopping this time, it was totally the other way around...
In the end I really enjoyed myself with the company of such great friends..(although helping Sid to decide which shirt to get was hard coz I had to convince him over and over again..haha..) but anyway that was one of the fun part...
As the week progressed I started to appreciate all the things my parents have been doing...even the small things like watering the plants..putting clothes into the washing machine...preparing food...doing all these things....not easy at all...
I'm proud of myself to be able to take care and manage things well, but of course not as good as my parents...but I'm really thankful to have such great parents...
The real dissapointing part of the week was when I got my results for haematology exam where I failed..and this is the 1st time..the worst part was that it was a bad failing mark...and it was my fault for not putting more effort in my studies
So...my aim now is to work hard and do my very best..wats passed has gone and I need to look forward and do my very best for my finals...
I just pray and hope that as exam gets nearer and nearer I wont be overwhelmed by fear or anxiety and that I would do well....

HaEmAToLoGY's OvEr!! Sem 3 FiNaLs...CoMiNg SooN!!

Well..well..well....haematology systems over...this week's a very long week with a super scary mock OSCE (its a practical exam for med for those of u who dun know) in between haematology exam on friday...which was really hard and I really am so not confident in this test...really crossing my fingers and hoping for a miracle though...
Oh well...its my fault anyway for slacking in my studies...but I've gotta get myself right again...and start preparing for finals now although GI system is starting this week...which is the hardest system of the year...*SOBS*
This weeks another busy week...don't know why things always happen altogether in one big lump and I feel like I'm splitting myself into 3 or 4...in church..gotta help in MYF, play piano for choir, play organ for church..uni...of course studying...EXAMS!! I'm not complaining bout this..its just that sometimes I wish things would happen in a more spread out manner but on the other hand dealing with everything altogether would give me more time to rest later on...
Anways...new week..new system to learn..more activities...thats my life...
Guess thats all for today...

OnE MoRe wEEk...Till EnD oF HAeMaToLoGy!!

Wow...one week has passed...and how time flies!! Tomorrow's holiday!!Yay!! Finally some
breathing space...can study...but there's so much to memorise!!*SOBS*
Well..gotta work hard lorr...but haih..keep getting distracted....
Today..i was happy coz I did well for respi test...Praise God!! So..waiting for dad to buy me a new handphone..hehe!!
But..when I was leaving the train area...I realised the destination is wrong...and the machine wouldn't accept it..so I went to the guard...and I told him that i can't go through..he looked at the ticket and he was like..'u got the wrong destination'...so I told him that I didnt realise..but it was the ticket guy at the station who gave me a wrong ticket...and he told me of saying that its my fault coz I didnt check the ticket..
Yes..I agree its my fault...for not checking..but...in the 1st place I was already given the wrong ticket...so it should be their fault..so I didnt want to make this a big issue and all I want is to leave..so..I asked him whether he could just let me go since the actual price is RM1 and the wrong ticket I had also costs the same...and he wouldnt let me..he just stared at me trying to make me feel intimidated...I was..but I acted i wasnt and stared back at him...
Finally I gave up...and I asked him..so wat u want me to do know..??..wat do I need to do..?? and he just grumbled on and on bout regulations...and stuff like that..in the end he said not to do it again and let me go...it made me so upset coz I felt treated in such a mean manner...but I guess thats life...!! All I can do is look forward to a new and better day...!!

Dealing with "simulated angry patients"...

Hmm...this week.....was a long week and an exhausting one too....was not used to getting up early and well...twice this week i had to for csu and blood bank visit...
CSU was scary coz we had to do history taking and interview angry patients which was not easy at all...but i finally got through it thanks to my partner...who was brave enough to deal with the angry patient...I interviewed another patient who had silent anger which wasnt so bad...
I still cant seem to be able to show "empathy" according to the simulated patients and I dunno how to do that...guess everyone's struggling with that too...but I'll try my best to improve...
Blood bank visit was fun and I learn a lot more...the stuff I learn in lecture seems more relevant to me after listening to the talks given by the staff there...the sad part was they were rushing throughout coz we had a limited amount of time...I guess it was worth it to wake up early...
Well...getting tired now...need to recharge....ZZzzzzzz!!

Thanksgiving Sunday..

As its a Sunday...like any other Sundays...we'll all be in church and today for MYF we were able to use the projector for the first time and thank God everything worked out well...and so its gonna be a permanent thing...later we had lunch together after church and had fellowship with friends...
The highlight of the day was the dinner where my parents' friend invited us for dinner to celebrate bday with a surprise party and also as a thanksgiving for all the successes and phases most of us has stepped into and thats why I called this a thanksgiving Sunday...its been a really long time since the whole bunch of close friends gathered together as one family and have fun...and it was great seeing how far each one of us has pulled through...although I was tired..I got to eat and eat and eat...till i was filled right up to my neck...haha..but the chocolate cake i bought was really good..so i couldn't resist
Well..at the end of the day...I just feel that I'm really lucky to have known all this people growing up in church..and how God has worked in each and everyone of our lives..and of course blessing us with this great friendship and opportunities to gather together...All glory and praise to God!!

What a Busy Day...

Well...today is a busy day...although I still had the opportunity to wake up late this morning..hehe...slept late last nite...
Anyway..today I had meeting for my church youth group and we hadn't had one for 3 months already...so..we met up after lunch and we discussed lots of issues regarding the youth group.. but it lasted soo long...that it seemed so impossible to end coz there are so many things coming up which need proper planning and most of us are busy with our own work and studies...so that was a tough part...I tried my best to involve myself although I'm scared to take up lots of things due to my finals coming up..but I believe..God will help me with dividing my time..
I had to leave before the meeting ended coz it was my cousin's 12th bday and well..I thought I should be there to celebrate and spend time with my family..it was fun although most of them are kids..and last minute I had to organize the games...but in the end it feels great to spend time with each other and laugh together..plus I got to meet my "nephew"...he's soo...cute!!=P
Guess thats all..another busy day with church tomorrow...sleepy already..

New System...Haematology!!

Well..just after a tiring week of cramming up for respi exam its time to move to a new system..Haematology....its only about 4 weeks again and its supposed to be one of the harder systems but hopefully i will be able to manage somehow...
I can't believe how far I've gone through in uni...now that i'm already in my 2nd year...I remember the times when I had to struggle and worry bout trying to get into med school and look at me now...here I am...in 2nd year...At the end of the day looking back it was God who brought me through all the difficult and stressful times where I just felt so pressured...I don't think that I would have persevered without Him by my side...Praise God!!
Somehow now..things are tougher and I'm worried almost bout everything especially finals in July which is soo...near...Gotta push myself and stop being lazy...=P
Anyhow I gotta take one things at a time and do my very best in each challenge I face..so wish me luck..!!

TeSt Is OveR!!YaY!!

Yay!!Respiratory Test is over!!Finally its over after the few weeks of struggling to finish studying. Today was really fun coz I went out with 2 of my gal pals...shopping...they were going to prom next week so..i offered to go along with them...it was lotsa fun just chilling out together..hadn't had that for a while..(Mun Yee dun need to say sorry for not getting anything in the end..I had the opportunity to hang out so it didnt matter...I had fun!!)
When I got home..I was exhausted..and slept throughout...
Anyway..next week we're starting the new system already...haematology..which is gonna be tough...and sem3 finals is coming even closer...hopefully i can cover everything by then...
Gonna enjoy this weekend 1st before moving to another tough week...=P

The person I hold dear most...

Every Easter...without fail my family and I would definitely go to Nilai Memorial Park after church coz tats where we'll go visit my grandma...the person I hold dear most but this time we went a day earlier.
My grandma has gone back to God for 5 years now and that day was the day I will never forget for the rest of my life. I dont know why but although I always thought I have moved on but everytime I'm there... looking at her picture, tears would fill my eyes even though I would hold on to them so that no one will realise. I guess its because I miss her a lot and many times I wished she was still around to see me progress through the different stages of my life.
She is the person I hold dear most because although we argued a lot and there were times I felt like I hated her...somehow love surpasses all and I still hold on to lots of memories of her spending time with me...and of course the temporary feeling of hate was actually because I loved her dearly and when she let me down (she was aging and her mind was not right sometimes) I got dissapointed.
Many people would think that grandparents are a burden but for me it never was. Just having her around at home, listening to her share her experiences and learning from my grandma, her cooking (love her cooking...the greatest!!).
My greatest regret was not telling her my true feelings and how much I love her before she went back to God...I remembered her telling me her last words although I was blur and didn't know. But after that, upon reflection....I realised she did expressed her true feelings before she died. No matter what, I am glad that now she's with God her true home and I will meet her someday...nevertheless she's always in my heart and I will never stop missing her.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Well...this is my very 1st blog...i got curious and decided why not try it out to post things bout myself....so here i am...
It has been a long week...and respiratory system test is coming up next week and boy...i dun seem to have grasped anything really...and its worrying me a lot as to whether i can finish in time....i really want to do well this time and not just pass like cvs...that was dissapointing....
Hopefully i do make it la...guess thats all for today...wish me the best of luck..