Every year we celebrate the day we gain another year older...
Can't believe it...I've just turned 22 and its another 1+ year I should graduate if all goes well.
It seemed like yesterday I felt like I was the luckiest person ever to be able to celebrate my 21st with the entire family...the people that have special places in my heart (Just love my big family). And it seemed like yesterday I was told that my grandpa who hadn't been feeling well made an effort to wear his best outfit to celebrate my 21st with me when he could have remained on his bed. Both my grandpas in fact celebrated with me...
Today...I never thought I would miss him so much. We had another birthday dinner together as a family again...but this time...I was missing my grandpa. The guy whom I visit every weekend no matter what. The guy who seemed cool and emotionless but has lots of love to give especially to his grandchildren. The guy who got himself out of bed and dressed his best just to celebrate my 21st birthday although he was always unwell and lying on the bed.
I couldn't help but be reminded of last year...his presence with each of us. I never thought I would miss him so much. My eyes became teary but I held it back. It is a happy occasion and I'm sure he's happy for me too. But I miss him dearly. Somehow there's still that empty space in my heart. I still haven't adapted to the fact that he's gone...and that my Saturdays would be free from traveling to his house to visit him.
Nevertheless...I'm glad my mum still organized the dinner with the entire family although my grandpa isn't around anymore. Its still a great feeling to have dinner with my uncles, aunts and cousins...to catch up with them like how we've always done every weekend with my grandpa.
Thank God I still have another grandpa staying with me although I still do miss this grandpa of mine dearly...But I had a great birthday!!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
SeaSoN oF GooDBYeS...
It is so true when we talk about being touched by people around us...
We often get caught up with our work and studies causing us to take people placed by God around us for granted. This is understandable coz we live such busy lives with so many things to handle at once and hence, emotions and feelings are usually placed in the least priority.
I would be the first to admit that my life has been so. Although I try my very best to appreciate the people around me as much as I can, still it isnt enough.
This week I'm saying farewell 3 times to 4 beautiful individuals. Most of the time, I tend to forget or I didnt realise how much of an impact they have made on me.
The first was to say goodbye to a young beautiful girl...whom I recently found out had left this world due to an uncorrectable illness. I was assigned as part of my med course to follow up on her in every aspect of her life with a colleague. We got to know her and her family and we were amazed by her carefreeness, innocence and joy. Her simple view of what the world was like unknowingly touched my heart. I honestly could not believe the sudden news of her death bcoz I'd never thought she would have to go so quickly and suddenly. She has touched me in ways I cant describe but she would be someone I would remember for a long time.
The second was a goodbye to a dear lecturer whose dedication, love and commitment to the CF of our uni had touched many hearts including mine. Although I've really known him for about 6 months but his knowledge both in medicine and Christian living...about God really inspired me to be a better person than what or who I already am. His gentleness and humility yet someone with so much wisdom in 2 wide areas...is something I admire a lot. And its sad to let such a person go...
Last goodbye this week would be 2 dear friends whom I remember touched my heart on one of my birthday. No one has done such a sweet thing for me!! They actually bought and sent me a bouquet of flowers and a gift right to my doorstep. Ever since then, we got closer and they've been such inspiration and encouragers in my life. Such sincere friendship I never tought I would have in my entire life. I love them dearly like my brother and sister and I would definitely miss them a lot!!
In life...changes takes place and surprises pops up once in a while. It forces us lazy people to move out of our comfort zones and wakes us up from being too lenient in our daily living. Although it can be tough and painful sometimes, I believe each event or goodbyes that we say to the people we love and hold close to our hearts...has a lesson or reason behind. But the explanation may not be seen clearly immediately...we need patience and faith in God.
All I can say is I wish the very best and all the goodness in the world to these people...We'll meet someday...somewhere!! God Bless!!
We often get caught up with our work and studies causing us to take people placed by God around us for granted. This is understandable coz we live such busy lives with so many things to handle at once and hence, emotions and feelings are usually placed in the least priority.
I would be the first to admit that my life has been so. Although I try my very best to appreciate the people around me as much as I can, still it isnt enough.
This week I'm saying farewell 3 times to 4 beautiful individuals. Most of the time, I tend to forget or I didnt realise how much of an impact they have made on me.
The first was to say goodbye to a young beautiful girl...whom I recently found out had left this world due to an uncorrectable illness. I was assigned as part of my med course to follow up on her in every aspect of her life with a colleague. We got to know her and her family and we were amazed by her carefreeness, innocence and joy. Her simple view of what the world was like unknowingly touched my heart. I honestly could not believe the sudden news of her death bcoz I'd never thought she would have to go so quickly and suddenly. She has touched me in ways I cant describe but she would be someone I would remember for a long time.
The second was a goodbye to a dear lecturer whose dedication, love and commitment to the CF of our uni had touched many hearts including mine. Although I've really known him for about 6 months but his knowledge both in medicine and Christian living...about God really inspired me to be a better person than what or who I already am. His gentleness and humility yet someone with so much wisdom in 2 wide areas...is something I admire a lot. And its sad to let such a person go...
Last goodbye this week would be 2 dear friends whom I remember touched my heart on one of my birthday. No one has done such a sweet thing for me!! They actually bought and sent me a bouquet of flowers and a gift right to my doorstep. Ever since then, we got closer and they've been such inspiration and encouragers in my life. Such sincere friendship I never tought I would have in my entire life. I love them dearly like my brother and sister and I would definitely miss them a lot!!
In life...changes takes place and surprises pops up once in a while. It forces us lazy people to move out of our comfort zones and wakes us up from being too lenient in our daily living. Although it can be tough and painful sometimes, I believe each event or goodbyes that we say to the people we love and hold close to our hearts...has a lesson or reason behind. But the explanation may not be seen clearly immediately...we need patience and faith in God.
All I can say is I wish the very best and all the goodness in the world to these people...We'll meet someday...somewhere!! God Bless!!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
BeiNG aT a PLaTeAu PHaSe??
We always say life's like a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs. But sometimes, life also becomes stagnant....it reaches a plateau phase and thats where I think I'm at right now....
Maybe it has been going on for sometime and I didnt realise it...
Being at a point where things are just going at a plateau pattern can be quite frustrating and takes patience to overcome. I really don't know if its God's way of training me or its just me making my life such a dull one. At such a stage I cant help but feel like I've lost my passion or sense of direction. Its not that I dont know my end goal...coz I do know! But, just am feeling lost while journeying through this path...no excitement, nothing much to look forward to...
I mean people around me seemed to have so many happenings going on around them...and when they share wat they've been going through it all sounds to exciting and interesting. Cant help to start wonder how come my life is all of a sudden so dull??
I suppose the only thing that would help is TIME....let this phase pass...and patiently wait after God to show me the next level in my journey in life...who knows?? All I can say is that I have unmeasurable thanks to God who blessed me with such a smoot and good life so far...and it beats all doubts definitely!!
Maybe it has been going on for sometime and I didnt realise it...
Being at a point where things are just going at a plateau pattern can be quite frustrating and takes patience to overcome. I really don't know if its God's way of training me or its just me making my life such a dull one. At such a stage I cant help but feel like I've lost my passion or sense of direction. Its not that I dont know my end goal...coz I do know! But, just am feeling lost while journeying through this path...no excitement, nothing much to look forward to...
I mean people around me seemed to have so many happenings going on around them...and when they share wat they've been going through it all sounds to exciting and interesting. Cant help to start wonder how come my life is all of a sudden so dull??
I suppose the only thing that would help is TIME....let this phase pass...and patiently wait after God to show me the next level in my journey in life...who knows?? All I can say is that I have unmeasurable thanks to God who blessed me with such a smoot and good life so far...and it beats all doubts definitely!!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
WhaT HaVe I DoNe???
I've always thought making friends was easy as long as there's understanding, openess, tolerance and of course FUN!! But I guess things dont always go the way I would like it to be or life cant just be up and up and up all the time...so does relationships, sad to say.
So, what more bout living with others??? There's definitely wrong at my part for being impatient, judgemental and close minded at times...and I'd hope that things would go my way. I'm trying really hard not to be like that...but I still feel like I've been getting the cold shoulder or I've offended someone unexpectedly in some way.
Well, I would definitely apologise to that person if I've done anything wrong...and that its definitely not intentional in anyway. Not knowing what I did wrong...cant blame me if I'm still stepping on your toes.
Maybe I'm overly sensitive...I really don't know. Its just hard to feel that way especially when you're living under the same roof. I guess not everyone will like me and I'm me....and we're all different so disagreements happen I guess.
Just hate the feeling of not knowing what I did wrong that's all. To me, even if I didnt do anything wrong, I'm guilty coz I've made the person dislike me I guess...Anyway cant please everyone...so, life goes on and on my part, I'm learning each day to be a better person and a better doctor. Guess, cant put all the blame on myself and maybe its ok to be disliked sometimes!! Who knows!!
So, what more bout living with others??? There's definitely wrong at my part for being impatient, judgemental and close minded at times...and I'd hope that things would go my way. I'm trying really hard not to be like that...but I still feel like I've been getting the cold shoulder or I've offended someone unexpectedly in some way.
Well, I would definitely apologise to that person if I've done anything wrong...and that its definitely not intentional in anyway. Not knowing what I did wrong...cant blame me if I'm still stepping on your toes.
Maybe I'm overly sensitive...I really don't know. Its just hard to feel that way especially when you're living under the same roof. I guess not everyone will like me and I'm me....and we're all different so disagreements happen I guess.
Just hate the feeling of not knowing what I did wrong that's all. To me, even if I didnt do anything wrong, I'm guilty coz I've made the person dislike me I guess...Anyway cant please everyone...so, life goes on and on my part, I'm learning each day to be a better person and a better doctor. Guess, cant put all the blame on myself and maybe its ok to be disliked sometimes!! Who knows!!
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