YaY!! NiGhTMaRe OvEr..HoLs ArE IN FoR ReAL...

Hooray!!Wat a relief...!!The anguish!!The torturous waiting!!Finally it's all over!!
Praise God!! I Passed!!Although I only passed right at the margin....I'm glad that I dont hav to go through viva or resit...and all that had happened was a gift from God....
I could never have achieved or gone through all of these without Him...and He has brought me through every step no matter how tough or hard it felt....
Nothing can ever describe wat He did for me...All I can say and tell the world is He has been good to me throughout my entire existence in this hard core world....And he has made me the person I am today....Someone with a dream...to help others as a profession....
I will definitely keep the promises I made with God...and basically I am really and trully greatful to Him for wat He did for me...I'm just glad He gave me the opportunity to proceed to the next semester and be another step closer to achieving my dreams... ;p

HeLP!! ThE AnXiEtY is KiLLiNG Me!!

The anxiety....the feeling of my heart fluttering inside of me...is preventing me from sleeping although my eyes are weary and waiting to close anytime....but everytime I close my eyes and try to sleep....I start thinking bout tomorrow...
RESULTS!!Did I PASS??Did I FAIL??Wat am I going to do if I fail?Would I be able to celebrate for passing and being able to move on to Sem4??How??WOuld I be able to accept the results??
I DONT KNOW!!
These things that keep running through my mind is such a mental torture....I just pray to God and hope that tomorrow my results would show me a pass...!!Pls...let this be true!!

God ShOwEd Me THinGs Aren't So BaD AfTeR aLL!!

Feeling the way that I felt was always just temporary...Somehow...the feelings of anger, unappreciated, sad, dissapointment just died away....of course, a friend did play a role in helping to dissolve those -ve feelings...
Something just came to me...and I realised that it wasnt necessary for me to feel that way at all...It doesnt matter who is on the active side when it comes to helping others...neither does it matter whether my good deed was returned with gratitude coz I'm God's child....God is love and goodness....so I shall be that way too...
God helped me realise all those things....and I even felt so foolish for feeling that way in the 1st place...as for being cared by someone...I believe God will send that person to me someday...but for now....I'm great the way I am...and Thank God for making me the way I am!!

LiFe SoMeTiMeS LeT Me DoWn...

I've never felt this feeling for a while now...the feeling of being left out...of not belonging.... Walking alone watching everyone pass me by...trying to stay composed and preventing myself from breaking down overwhelmed by those mixed emotions.....
I felt myself trying sort the turmoil of emotions running through my mind..."was it my fault?"...
"why did i allow it to happen?"....."why was I so nice when i didnt hav to be?"..."why am i feeling this way?It's silly!!"..."why am i so silly to put myself in vulnerable positions?"..."I wished I had someone who would comfort me...be the one who would try to care for me....and not me always on the active side alone"
At times I would feel myself being so gullible and simple....and silly....
Always tend to be the active one in caring for someone....even when ppl around me probably would not want my help....or even get intimidated by my eagerness to help...and finally in the end feel like i wasn't appreciated...but either way its my fault...i put myself in this position...

One DoWn..AnOtHeR to Go!! PaSS or FaiL??

Today was the day viva list where students with borderline are listed to go for an aural exam was released...This exam is a 2nd chance for students who almost pass to Pass!! Going for this exam is superbly stressful and my heart was racing anticipating the release of the list this morning...

The agony of waiting is torturing but wat to do? Its all part and parcel of med school life...

Praise God that I wasnt on that list.....BUT!! WHen the actual results are out this FRIDAY.... it would be between PASSING or FAIL...Agony Over?? NOT!!

However looking on the bright side of things happening....its great to be surrounded by really great friends...who share the same feelings and support one another with love and encouragement....TimHo, TimChew, Victoria, Jane, Michelle, KhunYing, Matthew...

We spent time together shopping at Bk Bintang 2day...which was really fun....and then had a scrumptous steamboat dinner that filled me up to my neck and could not move....but the fellowship that we had was priceless...and I'm blessed to hav such great friends...

Tomorrow..we'll be going to Genting....along with THomas and Man Keat I think...and I'm sure it'll be great fun too...CAn't Wait!!

ExAm'S OvEr..but Nightmare isn't Over Yet!!

I know that life is never easy...and lots of effort is needed to reach our goals...but the high goals I set myself at the beginning of med school seems to just drop to a level where all I wanna do is pass this finals and be able to continue progressing to Sem 4...

I never thought or dreamt that at this stage of my life...my ability to hold myself together...to stay calm and composed is simply lost...the anxiety and twisted emotions I feel wouldn't leave me even after countless times of telling myself to calm down and be confident...I keep feeling my tummy being squeezed and twisted...and my brain frozen...unable to recall anything....but still praying to God asking to stay calm and composed did help me a lot from falling apart....

Even after going through finals...I still can't believe that its done!! All I have to to now is wait for results to be released next week...but that's another nightmare coz looking at how things worked out during exam..where practically most of the questions asked were so tough plus stupid mistakes made along the way didn't help at all...

But in the end..I'm am thankful to God that He has brought me through this week...that I can

at least complete my exam...the rest is up to Him to decide for me...but I do pray that I'll be able to pass and proceed to the next level of med school...For now...I am glad to complete the exam.. coz it seemed impossible to me last week..

"and yet look where God has brought me...I know He will definitely never ever fail me!!"