SKiN...

How do you comfort and assure the person you love that everything will be as good as new again when that can never happen?? How would you then convince him to take care of himself better when it only seemed to get worse each time?? Although it isnt something life threatening, but its making him feel helpless, uncomfortable and a burden to others.

That person's my grandpa. To many people they see it as him having, skin problems. Easy diagnosis? Not a big deal? Definitely NOT!! Yes, he does have skin problems but how do you take care of skin that's so fragile that even with the slightest knock on anything would cause a deep cut that bleeds for days?? How do you make a skin that's so thin and dry moist and healthier again, so that it doesn't cause itchiness or redness all over his body??

I know and understand that its all part of the aging process. But as you're older, you would prefer a more routined lifestyle and its never easy for an old man to adapt easily to any changes like us. So, each time when I or my parents check his skin, and we find areas of redness and scratch scars... it kinda upsets my grandpa and he'll try with all his might to hide those feelings.

I think that the thing that's troubling him the most is that he feels helpless and a burden to us the family members for having to take care of him in such a delicate way and yet, the skin problem isn't getting better. What made things worse was the petroleum jelly we used to help with his skin cant be used now coz, his skin over-sensitive to it now and we need special type of creams.

Many people think that its soo easy to handle something like that. All they could help with was giving comments like, "Why don't you try this cream?" I know they mean well and all but it makes me frustrated, bcoz how can it be so simple? If it was that easy, my grandpa's skin would have recovered long ago.

When I see my grandpa look so down and discouraged...I really feel like helping him take that load which I myself don't understand 100%. I just hope and pray that God will be his comfort and he'll soon be able to live with it, and learn to take care of himself better so he won't feel so helpless or a burden anymore.

OaSiS 2

After doing a bit of quieting down and reflection...I found that I've learnt some things 2nite...Things that I think woke me up again from the dryness I've been feeling lately...
1. God has blessed MYF tremendously, a great bunch of youths who would always work together no matter how hard the workload maybe, with no hesitations.
2. A great night of praise, where youths enjoy fellowshipping with God and each other
3. 2 youth groups starting to bridge with one another
4. Being frustrated for being let down shouldn't be a barrier for me to keep my passion to serve alive
5. God restored my passion to serve again
6. God works wonders when His children put their heart and soul into doing His work
7. Always focus on the positive and not the negative

Somehow I felt refreshed tonight...after feeling sorta dry for some time...
And when I reflected on all that had happened on this long day...I find that God never ceases to amaze me...I hope He would continue to open my eyes and heart to even more exciting and amazing stuff!!
All Praise & Glory to God the Most High!!

CoNFuSeD: Am I doing the right thing??

I know its the 2nd blog in the same early hours of the morning...but this is kinda bothering me

I just smsed a friend to not call or sms me anymore...

I've known this person since secondary school and being new and naive I was so happy that someone would actually try to be friends with me... But then, as time went by I realised that she wanted things from me which I could never, ever, possibly in my entire life give her.

However, I was soo insecure with myself at that time..I couldn't bear loosing a friend as I was new and didn't have that many friends in school. Plus, I liked the attention I was getting. Someone for once looking up to me.
I quickly realised that it was wrong to even think that way. That isn't me at all...That isn't what I've been brought up to be!

So, I made the decision to be a good friend. A friend that she could rely on. And well, she did really make full use of it. Calling me every night. Pouring out her problems which I think she exaggerates a lot just to get my attention. My guts tell me that she's taking advantage of my naiveness but well..I ignore it and thought I could change her.

I was sooo wrong...and soon I was relieved when she finished secondary school and I wont have to see her in school anymore. But she still does call me and try coming back to school to look for me. I remember making tons of excuses to get away.
Finally, its my turn to finish sec school and I moved on to continue with college and then uni.

Being busy and all she couldn't call me so much and therefore calling me was like twice a year thing. But everytime she calls...and when I show her some concern, she makes full use of it..and I get phone calls everyday for the week telling me about being sad, depressed, misunderstood, anything you can think of.

One night, I finally had the guts to tell her off that I can never talk to her or give her whatever she wants. And asked her not to call me.

And this year..being stupid, I smsed her a CNY wish...and Woosh!! She thought that we could be close again like before. And having a handphone was such a pain! Calling me and smsing me everyday... telling me that she's down...she's sad...I can't believe her anymore. I just couldn't stand it!! I can't deal with her!! I can't even get myself to confront her and talk to her on the phone when she called me!! I thought she grew up too like me and she would be different!! She never did!!

So when she smsed me again...just like every night now...I replied her sms telling her not to call me anymore that I'm uncomfortable talking to her and even requested for my number to be deleted.

I know that she's in need of a person to give her the attention she never had and all but she scares me a lot...I feel so bad right now....feel so guilty...I'm feeling guilty of having a sense of relief from having to deal with her everyday. I can't help but feel relieved. Am I a cruel person? Am I a bad person and friend? Coz I really don't want to be that kind of person...I really didn't want to hurt her!!

FaMiLY

I can't believe it!! It just suddenly hit me...although I was reminded a week ago.
Today...well, technically its yesterday since I'm posting my blog at 2am...
Its been exactly 7 years since my grandma passed away...
I could recall almost everything that happened on that day...and I'm quite surprised actually that I miss her sooo much...
In remembrance of her, I had dinner at my uncle's house together with my grandaunt (my grandma's sister) and of course with the rest of my family.
All I could think of when it hit me was...look at my life throughout that 7 years and what God has brought me through...I really so wished that my grandma was with me and looking at what I've accomplished so far...how far I've grown...I even wonder if she misses me too....
Its always touchy moments like this...I always feel like the luckiest person in the world...
I mean...I have such a great family...although I admit that relationship with family members are never always sweet and nice. But whenever I reflect on the core part of my relationship with my family members, it always give me that warmth and tingly feeling inside. It somehow never fails to make me feel contented with my life.
And I always would be reminded then not to take any of them for granted especially when things get hard...or disagreements may come up.
I really thank God for blessing me with a great family who have showered all the love and support and encouragement on me for the past 20 years of my life and I know they will continue to do so...I am the luckiest person in the world!!No doubt about it!!