Surgery....I'm Done....!!

Clinical School life have been moving so quickly I can't believe surgical posting's over and the toughest posting in sem 6...Internel Medicine...starts next week!!

I have to admit that switching from Family Med posting to Surgery was tough and it took some time for me to adapt with such busy schedules. It was pretty overwhelming at the beggining but thank God things soon got better with friends and helpful lecturers around.

The clinic and hospital environment are definitely 2 very different settings altogether. And to those people who still think that surgeons are just tailors or technicians and all they know is cutting open their patients...I can tell u for sure that you're very wrong!!

Here are some of the things I've experienced during my 7 week surgical posting:

1. I forgot most of my basic sciences from phase I and had to struggle to answer questions from lecturers "????"
2. Going to wards at night is super tiring!! Miss Family Med!!
3. Mamak-ing....Watching movies....Lepak-ing....FUN!!
4. We're not treating gallbladders or liver or lumps...we're treating people!! Patients!!
5. Good place for a quick nap before TBLs or CSUs....Student Lounge!!
6. PD Hospital is such a nice place....
7. Standing in OT for 3 hours....haih...Leg Pain d!!
8. Describing lumps..ulcers...swellings...Lipoma??Cyst??Attached to skin??Mobile??Arrgh!!
9. PD Hospital's OT is like a freezer...Super COLD!! Bcome ICE d...
10. Q:"Whats the difference between small gut and large gut??"... A:"Small gut is..SMALL; Large gut is...BIG!!"
11. Q:"What do you see on an X-ray??" A:"BLACK and WHITE!!"....reply,"You will survive!!"
12. Road trip to PD Hospital on my greenie car....a.k.a..."MiniBUS!!"
13. Simple surgical procedures can make a whole lot of change to a patient's well being
14. Surgeons do spend more time consulting patients than cutting them open.
15. Nature is the best healer and doctors just witness the events take place while collecting money.
16. Grilled by lecturers during case presentations until end of posting exam till no more sweat left....PHEW!!

Yes..I am relieved to have finished exams finally...but surgical posting turned out to be so much better than I thought it would be. I've learnt a lot from every surgeon whether the hospital staff or IMU lecturers...especially during case presentations although yea...leg also aching...back also painful...kena kutuk....but....these are the things that made it all interesting!!

Sad to say..its goodbye to surgery for now...and its back to square one with adapting to a new posting...Looking forward to this one though...Hopefully I'm right!!

CHaNGe...INeVitaBLe???

Change..either we look forward to it with open arms...or we are caught off guard causing turmoil in our lives.

Church life has been such a big part of my life as far as I can remember...and being active in ministry I grew a lot and got inspired a lot by many people I've come across with. Church life is so important that not going on any Sunday would seem really strange the rest of the week. And I enjoy the fellowship with both youths and adults I've known for many years.

Lately, I seem to be unable to accept the changes I see in the church. I've tried to keep an open mind to every explanation given both by church leaders and ministry leaders and placed hope in the promises made by them. But each time, I seem to be dissapointed and now I'm just lost.

Giving up being part of ministry for more than 6 months...church life seem to be even more distant. Its just so sad to be feeling this way when I thought church life is something that would never ever die at any point of my life. Coz it has made me who I am today. I grew up in this environment.

Why am I feeling lost or getting dissapointed so much?? Is it really wrong to have expectations for myself?? Expectations that I'd be growing and learning from church and ministry leaders?? Is God pushing me away from the ministry I've been in all this while?? How do I keep an open mind to change that I am only able to see negative outcomes?? Should I just let that happen?? Just give up?? Not bother??

Somehow...I have all the answers to those questions already. But I guess, I've not learnt to accept a lot of it yet. But I do know that there's a lot more laid ahead by God for me and my journey in life has barely begun. I just really hope that God would show me a new area of ministry soon which I can be passionate about again so that I wont feel so lost.

I guess..most importantly is seeking God's will in every change or decision made and to trust that any change that comes my way God is in control of it. I hope that I can find the objectiveness and total trust soon and release all the dissapointments and worries to Him. Time will tell and time will heal...