"OASiS"

"Oasis" is a place where people living in the desert desperately draw every single drop of water they could get to quench their thirst. And God is like the water and we are the desert people desperately insearch of something that would quench the desires of our lives. Thats why MYF's youth celebration's called OASIS.
The turn out of the 1st Oasis was really good...and what the speaker, Annette talked about how we tend to think about our lives are so true. And one of the examples she gave just nailed how I felt lately.

I felt like serving in church was too much and I was fearful that church would become a distraction for me from my studies. I felt that week after week, serving in church, being active like I always am made me feel even more empty inside.
I thought it was because my heart wasnt in tune with God and I was probably distracted by other stuff... I really dont know what was going on inside me. So, I pushed myself. Like Anette said...I pushed and squeeze everything in me to worship and serve Him in everyway I could, trying to put my heart and soul into it too...but still...I felt empty

I really dont know what to do...I still am feeling it...Maybe I didnt worship God hard enough? Maybe I didnt surrender myself totally? I really dont know.

But now as I'm sitting in my room thinking about it all...I feel that assurance that God does know how I trully feel deep inside and to just hang on to him. I did feel refreshed after the worship and all but I think I'm still trying to work these things out.

I'm a person who's more of do-er (action) and most of the time try not to feel bcoz I always fear of getting hurt, which so far this statement does work for me. But when I got into MYF and became closer with everyone there, I learnt that God put emotions or feelings for a reason which is definitely not to make us get hurt. He placed it in us so that He can connect with us is such a deep manner that words can't even describe it. Its that tingly feeling, the warmth and the inner joy when the Holy Spirit fills my heart. I always believed that putting things into action is more worthwhile and how I feel in not necessary. But I'm wrong! Now...day by day, I'm learning to open myself up both to God and the people around me. Not to open up just by surface but my whole self. To share my very true self with everyone and maybe someday God would use me to touch someone's life.

I know its long and all but..I'm learning about my deeper feelings each day...and hopefully these feelings of emptiness will be filled someday. I definitely would continue praying coz I know that God never fails me or anyone..